Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Randomize