why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
