Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it glows. i had to have it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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