Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
