i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize