she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
