I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
