we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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