I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
