we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
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I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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