hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
