Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize