But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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