Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
