both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
