You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
