Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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