don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
