Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
