Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
my liver is dry heaving
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
