why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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