Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
