I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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