She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
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She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
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Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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