My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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