why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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