Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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