i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
