Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
