the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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