My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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