the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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