He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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