Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
