doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
