We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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