That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
