Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
