why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
