god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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