Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
