So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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