He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize