life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
