We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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