No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
