Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize