sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
