I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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