I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
