i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
