i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
