you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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