I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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